Aiming to be calm
May 9, 2011 2 Comments
Do you remember learning to drive?
It was long time ago for me. More recently I have taught family members basic driving skills. Driving can have some similarities to the blue tree exercise. If the instructor says, “Don’t drive on the white lines” the pupil starts looking at the white lines and sure enough they either drive on the lines more or they lose focus on other aspects of their driving. To get better at driving, or anything else, a target to aim for is better than one to avoid.
It has taken me decades to realise that a focus on avoiding anxiety, depression and over-activity is rarely as effective as when we focus on being calmer.
If you are thinking, “Don’t some people get a bit too calm and isn’t that a problem too?”
Yes, some people do get too calm, but in the busy world we live in, it is not so common and may never attract health professionals.
The health profession likes calm people. Remember calm = positive feelings with lower energy. When we are calm we feel good and so will rarely trouble our doctor. (Besides, people who are calm all the time probably have not read as far as this… if you are a calm all the time person and have read this far please send in some tips :-))
More seriously though, do you agree that bipolar tends to be seen in people who fail to be calm when in front of health professionals?
Photo: www.geraintsmith.com
On the contrary, appearing calm has ALWAYS been to my detriment! I have been that way all of my life, since showing feelings was not at all accepted in my family.
Perhaps it was because I APPEARED to be calm, but later realized that I was NOT feeling calm at all.
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Are we not all actors at times and is not being your true self the measure of success?
A tip i have heard is ‘ never run after a cure or a bus as there WILL be another along in due course ‘ (unless you are some distance from civilisation…..)
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