Still free to choose to be positive?

The very first word of my story (Chapter 3) in my first book SP/SS was/is “Freedom”.

Is ‘freedom’, “…just some people talking” and a meaningless idea, when we consider we are, kind of, living in a matrix? A matrix in which we need to fit in with billions of other people and where our choices always have some effect on… on? Not just those closest to us but on everyone, in this interconnected world.

I am able to imagine freedom on a scale from seemingly none to lots.

I did not appreciate how much freedom I had in the UK prior to the first lock-down in 2020. Now, 18 months on, I perhaps have even more freedom as I have largely stopped caring that many people see me as ‘a nut’, ‘ a mad professor’ and more recently as a ‘crazy-anti-vaxxer’.

What the lockdown did to me was to create the fear that almost all my freedoms could be lost in the blink of an eye. Not just through being told to stay indoors but through the kind of censorship that is being imposed on MSM, FB and YouTube.

How much longer will I be allowed to share my thoughts and feelings here?

Many people now fear a virus that cannot be seen, has never been isolated and that without the aid of a long swab or face mask, tends to stay in the throat and be eliminated by our natural immunity. Others have the kind of fear that I have. This is about what may happen if we dare to share truths that the majority do not want to hear. If only it were just one virus we had to fear!

I was inspired to write the above after listening to the historian, Neil Oliver, talk about freedom in this 6 minute monologue, shared via GBNews, on or about 1st August 2021, which is still available to listen to as I write this.

Neil Oliver: For the sake of freedom – yours and mine – I will cheerfully risk catching Covid-19

Taking action (Busy Mood Option) to eliminate fear (Anxious Mood Option)

Can we really eliminate fear?

I have experienced a lot of fear since I first experienced a lock-down. Prior to March 2020, I only knew of lock-downs as something that could happen in a prison or in China. The idea that we could have a nationwide lock-down in the UK had never crossed my mind.

As soon as the lock-down came into place (into force!?) my level of fear (or the amount of fear I was experiencing per day) ‘went through the roof’. By this, I mean it hit levels that disabled me as my brain tried to fathom out why our government would introduce a measure known to weaken immunity (Ref: Patrick Holford’s 1998 book, “Boost Your Immune System” See quote from that book below) I was close to top left of the Mood Map (about 1,7) for too long day-after-day. I was in a state of great anxiety burning up my energy reserves, looking for answers day-and-night.

It is a long story as to how things went over the next 12 months as I had to develop a whole new way of life to adapt to what is anything but a ‘new normal’. Right now, for me, all is abnormal, while much is new and much is old knowledge, with familiar surroundings as well as interactions with old friends.

Rather than tell that long story, I want to simply paste a text I just sent to one of my ‘old friends’. He is not that old and we only first met a few years ago… but old in that he is not one of the many new friends I have made in 2021 through A Stand in the Park – Here is my response to things that have been troubling both of us:

My early morning text starts here:

“G.O.” and glutathione is I believe far more complex than is being suggested… although… in the real-world when it comes to killing the simplest methods are so often the ones selected 😦

Let us meet up as it could be we have been travelling on almost parallel tracks. I am finding these exciting times now that I have learned I can function without fear for long periods. Putting fear aside has not been about dismissing the dangers but simply knowing that if the kind of God I was taught about at school were to one day ask,

“Roger, what did you do on 15th July 2021, while you believed millions of your fellow people were suffering and you might able to help them live in less pain?”

I want to at least say that I took some action and did not cower away being afraid of ridicule.

Since about 1981 I have not been able to hear or use the word ‘ridicule’ without thinking of one of the most famous ‘bipolar’ stars… I’ll just put Stuart Goddard and maybe you’ll be tempted to click here: Stand and Deliver! (whoops – Not the link I intended – need to sort that out when not so busy) Stuart Goddard seemed to choose to live his life without fear… perhaps he was living his life ‘like a candle in the wind’ or like a shooting star. Somehow he survived both fame and treatments for ‘bipolarity’ and at the time of writing is still functioning having overcome a lot of fear.

I typed most of the above as part of explaining myself to myself – I do hope you have found some solace or inspiration from my words.

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A few words from page 106 of Patrick Holford’s 1998 book, “Boost Your Immune System”

“One study showed that paying visits to elderly people in retirement homes three times a week measurably improved their natural killer cell levels and their overall immunity competence.”

= Essentially having visitors made them stronger and healthier.

Choosing high energy and positivity = ‘Busy’ mood. “Today, while I can still see one starfish alive, washed up on this massive scorched beach, I’m going to continue to check they know which way it is back to the sea.”

We tend to react to stress by changing our mood to allow us to take the actions needed. Actions to protect ourselves and/or actions to protect those we love.

However much stress we experience, we will still be in one of the 4 basic moods described in Mood Mapping. (If not familiar with Mood Mapping please download my free ‘How to Mood Map‘ pdf.)

The names of the moods have changed over the years. Personally, I have settled on; Anxious, Busy, Calm and Down as the names for these 4 basic moods. Yes, we may have many sub-moods and feelings, but as humans we will we either choose to be in one of those moods or end up in one by default.

“…starfish on a beach in hot sun”? How do we react when we see our friends in danger?

We may:

  • Rush to their aid in a state of HIGH energy with low positivity… in an Anxious mood,
  • Freeze in a state of low energy with low positivity… in a Down mood,
  • Stand back in a state of low energy with HIGH positivity, with a belief that someone else will intervene and we will thereby minimise risk to ourselves… in a Calm mood,
  • Think carefully, consult with experienced people we trust, in a state of HIGH energy with HIGH positivity then take decisive action… in a Busy mood.

Now, if your friends are NOT aware they are in danger and a change in behaviour could help them massively, then you may well appear crazy and risk being (re-)labelled as bipolar. In the analogy, a starfish may be unaware it is in danger or perhaps not want to be thrown back into the surf.

The downside of a busy mood is that if I (or you perhaps) get stuck in one then we can appear manic to others as it tends to look like an obsession with excess focus on one challenge to be overcome.

I have a very good friend, I’ll call G and he’ll know it is him, who insists that we can always choose our mood. I love that idea and always believed it until an incident I describe in SP/SS that convinced me that we can indeed always choose our moods (and perhaps actions) until we stop believing we can choose. That debate never ends as ultimately it is what we believe and our attitude that will shape all our futures.

Whether I choose to be a rescuer at my own expense or whether this is a role that has been thrust upon me, I cannot tell.  I just know that I prefer ‘Busy’ rather than ‘Down’ or ‘Anxious’, while a little Calmness now and then ensures I am not getting stuck in a mood.

If you have read and understood the above then you are ‘my kind of person’ so please do stay in touch… and can I help you?

Beyond Masks and Beyond DNA

With facebook and YouTube banning so much these days I have joined ‘telegram’. I wrote the following on telegram and felt it worth sharing more widely as I know many are still having their moods disrupted by mask wearing which many feel is equivalent to muzzling people to prevent us from dissenting.

Beyond Masks and Beyond DNA

Hi M,

Thank you for sharing the 2 minute video of man in car reminding us not to be complacent.

  • I have found sadness in isolation
  • I have found fear when surrounded by people I do not recognise
  • I am productive when doing worthwhile work for like-minded people
  • I find happiness when with mask-less people

Yesterday, I spent another 6 hours at a huge NHS hospital. In the corridors, the waiting rooms and on the ward, I saw hundreds of masked people. I was the only one without. I wore a sunflower-exemption lanyard and was not questioned about why I was allowed to breathe freely. It was so clear to me how the socially isolated masked patients were struggling. The efficiency of the staff has plummeted as not seeing faces wrecks communication.

As a SitP friend pointed out ‘new-normal’ is an oxymoron, as the new is nothing like normal. At the hospital I felt I was in the heart of the beast!

In the biology taught in medical schools, the cells in the human heart know nothing of the outside world other than the messages they receive from the cells around them. Fortunately, I also remember the books and videos of Dr Bruce Lipton and I continue to function knowing there is some higher purpose. Scientists who are going along with “Your future is determined by your DNA and RNA dogma” are supporting the elites. That takes away hope.

I’ll summarise my interpretation of Bruce Lipton’s ‘new biology’:

Our DNA is best described as a massive reference book kept in a drawer. Our future is according to how the rest of each cell decides which pages to read and how these references are interpreted and acted upon. DNA may limit us, especially when fearful or malnourished, but DNA does not control us, providing we believe we have choices.

Well, that was going to be a message of about 10 words – I feel better for sharing – perhaps I’ll put this on my blog.

Keep believing.

My next “Boost Your Immunity” talk, 11:30am Sunday 16th May 2021, could be on Vitamin B3 = Niacin.

I’m wondering to what extent niacin deficiency symptoms overlap with effects of mask-wearing, and may share why I believe there will be similarities…

Bipolar and Niacin

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Why Might Faceless People Provoke Anxiety and So Mess Up Our Mood?

Just over 10 years ago, I was writing metaphorically about masks (see my drawing and link below).

Lennon and McCartney were kind of saying about masks about 50 years ago…

“Lives in a dream
Waits at the window
Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?”

Writer(s): Lennon John Winston, McCartney Paul James

Today the UK government responded to our petition to,

“Ban the use of face masks in schools”

Here are some words that are absent from the government response, “quality, particles, breathing, breathe, breath, oxygen, carbon-dioxide, lungs, blood, brain, heart, think, thinking, flow, harm, smile, mouth, nose, respiratory, cancer, depression, bacteria, fungi, yeast, mould/mold – none mentioned.

I mention ‘quality’ as a key word as in… consideration of the quality of masks for performance and chemical safety, such as “Are the masks to meet pre-2020 safety guidelines?” Are the masks matching British Safety Standards? Do all the masks have the BSI kitemark* as evidence for safety?

I mention ‘cancer’ as a key word as in… the metabolic theory of cancer that the Nobel Prize was awarded for = lower blood oxygen makes cancer more likely

A word that features strongly in the government response is “evidence” as in,

  1. “latest evidence”
  2. “available evidence”
  3. “best available scientific evidence”
  4. “the available scientific evidence”
  5. “a range of evidence”
  6. “the most recent scientific evidence”

There is no indication of what this evidence is or where it has come from.

Intelligence” is of course important but what is this “intelligence”?

  1. “educational intelligence into account”
  2. “polling data from parents and students and intelligence”
  3. “balanced with intelligence”

They say, “The best available scientific evidence is that, when used correctly, wearing a face covering may reduce the spread of coronavirus (COVID-19) droplets in certain circumstances,”

Being employed as a scientist for most of my life, I will state that in science the words ‘may’ and ‘can’ are very different from ‘will’ and ‘does’. This fact means we are being informed that that masks are very unlikely to stop anything smaller than what can be described as a droplet!

So yes, masks reduce spitting! Beyond that it is like using chain link fence hoping to stop insects flying through.

The above is my opinion as someone who worked in microbiology labs with nasty bacteria and nasty moulds, where masks were not worn and most people stayed healthy.

We hear, ‘Stop the Spread’… Consider the warm-air-hand-driers still in use in hospital toilets… If there were viruses worse than ‘flu would those hand-driers not be disabled by now? Pubs and Cafes have these too. What about schools- are there any warm-air-hand-driers in use in schools?

Before I sign off for today, what has this to do with the 3 moods of bipolar/tripolar anxiety, depression and mania?

I was told 24 years ago that my troubles were genetic and from my childhood. I have been on a journey of realising, that however true or untrue that is, the moods we are all experiencing now are more dependent on our interpretation of the data we are receiving from all of our senses. My senses are telling me that the world has changed and this has, and continues to, cause anxiety.

Click on link in picture for 2 of my posts from March 2001:

Note: Achieving a BSI Kitemark for a product (such as a mask) is voluntary. It is a quality mark unique to BSI and is recognized worldwide as a symbol of quality, safety and trust.

Does your mask have a Kitemark?

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A Different Approach – ToxaPrevent

After about 11 years med-free = no prescription medications at all, I accepted a prescribed antipsychotic drug to help me sleep. I have found that I sleep a little more when I take this, yet each day I am so very tired and doing (what seems to me) to be far too little.

TOXAPREVENT ‘Tim Animation’ – “Animation about the toxins, heavy metals and histamine that affect your digestive tract and skin.”

I have met with a nutritional therapist who has suggested that my troubles may be largely due to excess toxins. If this is so, then I need a way to get these toxins out of my body (and especially out of my brain). Can this be done?

Perhaps the best hope is with a product called ToxaPrevent(R). This film explains about toxins in the body and how ToxaPrevent may do exactly what I need it to do.

The instructions I have are to take both the powder (for detoxing from upper digestive system) and the capsule(s) (for detoxing from lower digestive system) 30 minutes before each meal.

I have just taken first dose of each, so now to cook, eat and see how I feel later.

Believe in good nutrition then eat well stay well

I have been asked, how much our susceptibility to any illness or disorder is due to beliefs rather than to do with healthy nutrition/lifestyle. More specifically it was in a discussion about the latest corona-virus. Here is my reply,

Yes, beliefs are so very important when it comes to viruses. In my world, beliefs and actions go hand-in-hand.

When we believe we can resist the virus by ensuring we have daily vitamins C & D and zinc then we find a way to include these nutrients in our daily meals.

I accept that even the best food choices can be undermined by belief about diseases.

Beliefs that create fear seem to lead to greater vulnerability to all sorts of illnesses and disorders (including bipolar diagnosis). Mainly though, stats and science tell us that people who eat well stay well. Also, people who have been eating fairly well before an infectious disease or disorder comes along, in general, recover quicker, than malnourished people.

In 2018, I found a way of quickly checking my subconscious self-limiting beliefs then balancing those with empowering beliefs. To qualify as a facilitator of this modality of knowing and balancing beliefs I attended a course with Sharon Lock in Leeds, UK.

Here is a 3 minute video made during that very 3 day course (I appear, yet do not have a ‘speaking part’ 🙂 )

Would you like to hear more about food or more about beliefs?

Food Matters TV – Making Best Use Of This Resource

I just signed up with Food Matters TV through one of their special offers so I am paying  less than £8/month for access to just about everything they have on offer.

For me, this could the best value thing I am doing right now for my own well-being and for helping others.

Here is one of their newer videos. Watching this without paying and the price I just paid are time limited (ends tomorrow) so take a look now: https://www.fmtv.com/transcendence/live/episode-1

 

Dreamer (620 words)

During a discussion with a friend I remembered this post that I wrote in 2006 and updated in 2009. I believe it is just as true today.

Dreamer

You got to have a dream, If you don’t have a dream, How you gonna have a dream come true?” – South Pacific

We have all dreamt while asleep and some of us will have woken up and thought, “That’s a good idea, I must follow that through”. Mainly though the visionary plans we call dreams come to us when awake, often forming and becoming clearer little by little over many days or even years. Those of us lucky enough to have such dreams have the chance to do all we can to realise them.

Everybody builds a dream in their lifetime. You’re either going to build your dream, or somebody else’s. So build your own!” – Christopher LaBrec

There are more dreams in the world than people and (in a memetic way) each dream is vying for our time and energy. Many dreams never get off the ground. What in the pub or in the bath seems like a great idea will the next morning at work or at the shops give way to humdrum everyday life. Each of the small activities, filling so much of our day, is just part of someone else’s dream. If you are not doing your dream job the likelihood is you are working for someone else who once had a great dream. If you work for the Virgin group you are part of Richard Branson’s dream. When you buy Kentucky Fried Chicken are you not living Colonel Sander’s dream?

We would have to live on a desert island to avoid become part of other people’s dreams!

I have had many great ideas, a few I have focused on and created something tangible. The majority have been crowded out, never really seeing the light of day.

In business I wanted my own successful training business. The reality I have realised is that joining in with other trainers and sharing each other’s dreams makes perfect sense. This troubled me at first. I worried about losing my own dream. It has taken a while to appreciate this sharing of other people’s dreams is giving the greatest boost to my dreams.

“Any dream will do” – Joseph, The Musical

If you have a dream that you really care about and feel one day it will come to fruition, no matter what that dream might be please do not lose it. Even if you find yourself doing other people’s stuff 99% of the time save 1% for your special dream. Also do not limit yourself to one great idea. Have as many dreams as you want. If your first dream isn’t working out or you cannot find anyone to share it with, then you will have dream 2, dream 3, dream 4…… to turn to.

What has this to do with bipolar recovery? I think that so often when we get labelled with a mental illness we can be expected (by others and perhaps by ourselves) to forget the dreams we had before or not to follow new dreams in case they turn out to be too grandiose. However, recovery requires us to have longer term plans than just getting through each day. Yes, at first it is likely to be about getting through each day – or even getting through each 5 minutes. One day, we need to consider ourselves recovered enough to dream of things being better and then letting ourselves have the energy to make a fresh start towards making dreams come true.

What do you hope to do? If you haven’t done so for a while, you might like to take a moment now to write down a few things you hope to achieve.

Dare I ask: Is there anything I could help you with?

© 2009 Roger Smith www.stoppaddling.com Bipolar Recovery Bite-size©

Bipolar IN Order? How well does Tom Wootton’s approach work?

If you believe you have bipolar disorder or any kind of disorder that seems or sounds a bit like bipolar then it is worth knowing about Tom Wootton’s Bipolar IN Order.

https://www.bipolaradvantage.com/lp/building-your-team-lp/

This may not be for everyone, just that if you don’t give it a go you will never know.

Best wishes

Roger

Fasting responsibly to improve mood in longer term

I’m not recommending the Master Fast System – just that this article and the 12 minute embedded video is making me think how, it seems, we have all been programmed to believe we cannot go for more than a few hours without eating.

Recently, I’ve been eating later in evening again and earlier in morning again and gut-pain, poor-sleep and troublesome-moods have returned. So, I’m going back to no food after 6pm and no food before 10am = 16 hours not eating and 8 hours eating. In recent times that is when I felt and functioned best.

Article and embedded video: http://www.corespirit.com/happened-body-didnt-eat-21-days/

If little time and prepared to hear the most gruesome bit then listen from 5m 30s… on to where Alanna Ketler says, “a foot and half long”.

This does highlight many of the benefits for those who have the willpower to fast for longer periods.

Best wishes

Roger

Bipolar Driving Analogy #Wootton

Yesterday, in ‘Psychology Today’, my good friend, Tom Wootton posted a useful short article called, “Bipolar Treatment Is More Than Just Tools To Lower Intensity

Here are a few words from it; “I see too many people who have never learned yet convince themselves that they know how to drive. When their mania gets stronger than they can handle they don’t even have the good sense to put on the brakes. And then, when someone else puts on the brakes for them, they go back to imagining that they know how to drive. Their repeated failure to actually learn the necessary steps is just reinforcing the false notion among everyone around them that it cannot be done.

In the work I have been doing I have found car and driving analogies to be really useful. It fits with the picture millions of people have of recovery, or even everything about life being a journey.

Most people reading this will have passed a driving test after many hours of instruction from a tutor with a great deal of experience. How many of us have done such intensive training for managing our moods and our long-term well-being?

The Daily Philosophy of an Ex-Mental Patient – Laura Delano

Although taking time off from all things bipolar to support Becky and her new baby, when a good friend sent me a link to this article I decided it well worth sharing even more widely: the-daily-philosophy-of-an-ex-mental-patient

Here is an excerpt: “Challenge the stories you’re telling yourself about how worthless, broken, and unacceptable you are—those are stories taught to you by forces profiting off of keeping you dis-empowered, silent, passive, and dependent.

Let me know if you are finding such ideas useful.

Ups and Downs – Video – Alice Hicks and Roger Smith #bipolar

Alice and I made this film at Rethink’s London  HQ on the Thames just before the 2012 Olympics.

Ups and Downs video on Utube

 

Still acting as if… #bipolarwellness

More than a year ago I wrote about ‘acting as if’. It is a way of staying well, feeling well and achieving more. When we act as if we are well we will most likely appear well and most likely feel well. The opposite would be to act unwell, to appear unwell and feel unwell. There are reasons to act unwell but it is not a great way to live in the long-term.

Acting well, does not require any great effort. For most of us it is a habit. It is the habit that causes us to say, “ I’m fine” when someone casually asks how we are, and a moment later we think, ‘well, really I’m feeling a bit rough this morning’.

I act as if well almost all the time. The main exceptions are when I am at home. At home I tend to share my aches, pains, anxieties…

By putting all my unwellness into my time at home – largely into the hours of darkness, allows me to carry on acting well all day when out and about. Recently I have met several people I have not seen for years, who have exclaimed, “Wow, you’re looking well”. People are easily fooled by a bit of weight loss, tidy hair, neat clothes and a smile. They are not aware unless I say anything of how little I have been sleeping or that the weight loss seems to be related to serious health issues.

However, there are ‘downsides’ to always acting as if well when you know you are not well. It is reasonable to do this for a while, but if you know things are getting worse…. If you feel you are becoming more ill then at some point the acting has to stop. This is not about having a breakdown in front of the boss (Done this! It is rarely a good idea!). It is more about finding someone you trust and sharing your concerns. Ideally this person you trust will also understand that feeling bad and feeling anxious about feeling bad are natural and not a sign of weakness.

For me, I have reached a point where I cannot carry on doing everything I have been doing. I am fortunate that my only kind of regular employment is with a mental health charity, who understand anxiety is normal and anxiety can from time to time be disabling. I have not forgotten though what it is like to be unsure how your employer will react to admissions of emotional weakness. It could be that you will never feel able to act anything other than well when at work… even so, everyone needs sooner or later to find someone they can share their anxieties with… we all need a time when we can behave just according to our feelings, and for a while forget about the clever idea that our feelings usually follow the way we act.

I would love to hear your views on this article.

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